Five important lessons I learned in life

Much of my life is unplanned. I mean, whatever I planned, things don’t usually work out that way. But I have no complaints. What is there to complain when things turn out better than what I had hoped for? Beyond my wildest imagination, I had lived in many cities, not just travelled as a tourist.

I have learned many things in life. Too many. I can list five important lessons I have learned, if I must share.

1. Dare to be different

At a time when my classmates were getting ready for post-secondary education, I was actively looking for a job. My parents were not poor but they were not well-heeled either. I was pleasantly surprised when I got accepted for an apprenticeship program in aircraft maintenance. I had no idea what an apprenticeship was nor what aircraft maintenance means. But I had a very good idea what the monthly allowance meant! Only 50 of us were selected out of about 3,000 applicants.

After I graduated as an engineer, the economic crisis then forced half my course mates to be retrenched. I was among the lucky ones to remain in employment but due the uncertainties and the possibility of another round of retrenchment, I decided to take the voluntary departure and joined the air force. The second round of retrenchment did not happen but I had no regrets.

You see, I became an officer in the air force and learned hands-on about leadership and managed a squadron of mechanics. Had I stayed in aircraft maintenance, I will still be learning about nuts and bolts.

2. Never fear the unbeaten path

When I left the air force and became a manager in a private aircraft maintenance company, there were many opportunities to be relocated overseas. Most of my colleagues with families were not keen due to various reasons, such as children’s education, loss of seniority, having to learn a foreign language, etc. I took on several overseas postings, some lasting more than two years, with my family’s blessing, language and higher costs of living notwithstanding. I had the opportunity to live in China, United Kingdom, Indonesia, Hong Kong and Malaysia. I learned about foreign culture first-hand when most of my friends were contented with learning them from TV. You can’t taste foreign foods from TV cooking. And nothing like trying to speak and understand a foreign language. It was mostly fun but the default was always English. And I realised that many things in real life in the foreign land were not what they portrayed in sit-coms.

3. With health, you need to start early

Youth makes me take health for granted. I had my biggest scare when I had an episode of slipped disc while staying alone in a hotel room in London. I was overweight. Then comes my experience with their NHS health care. You can’t just go to a hospital on your own. For medicines, you don’t go to a doctor as your first port of call. One goes to the pharmacy. I concluded that it was too troublesome to be sick in a foreign land, especially when you’re alone. One can’t take care of one’s health as an after-thought. And exercise is not something you do only when you have the time in the weekends. I began a regular exercise regime which I followed religiously to this day.

4. Talk less, listen more

There is a saying, “God gave us only one mouth but two ears. Use it in the right proportion.” Very apt. Much of my youth was spent proving how clever I was, having studied hard to become an engineer and having travelled widely. Although no one told me to my face, I realised quite late that many a times, what I said came back to bite me. Age has taught me to listen more and talk less, because when I am talking, I can’t hear what people are telling me. Not to mention that somethings I said occasionally make enemies out of friends or plant anger in my family members.

5. Count your blessings and be happy

When I am angry, the whole world seems to collapse inwards and it’s always someone else’s fault. Until I realised that the elusive goals which I had always sought was actually with me all along. One of my biggest goals is to be happy in life but it took a while to find out that it’s not through meditation, spending money or laughing. It’s by doing a stock-take of your life and count what are the good stuffs you have had, while forgetting all the rotten apples in your life. I do this whenever I remembered, which is daily. And the surprising thing?

Many of the good stuffs were spent with Family.